


shake me from my sleep (whisper in my ear)

by Cartecka



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 12:25:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10719306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartecka/pseuds/Cartecka
Summary: Lucy has been gone since Myriad happened, away on a mission for the DEO. She's finally back and Kara can't believe how much she missed her.





	shake me from my sleep (whisper in my ear)

**Author's Note:**

> So this was somewhat inspired by @theragingthespian on tumblr who posted a bunch of Superlane stuff a few days ago. It was supposed to be short but four days and 9,329 words later, here we are.

If Kara had been a dog, her ears would have perked up. She closes her eyes and tilts her head and listens because she’s pretty sure she heard…

_“It’s good to be back.”_

Kara is up and off the sunbed in an instant (Alex can yell at her later for not resting, this is way more important) and into the DEO control center. She sees the person she is looking for talking softly to J’onn.

“Lucy!” she shouts and is across the room and puling Lucy into her arms before the smaller woman can blink.

Lucy’s reaction time is a little slow so she ends up floundering for a second before she reaches around Kara’s shoulders and hugs back. She feels warm and real in Kara’s arms and Kara can’t believe this is happening.

“Hey Supergirl,” Lucy says, softly enough that probably only she can hear her. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Kara knows that this hug is stretching on longer than it has any right to, but instead of letting go, she finds herself holding on tighter, pushing the limits of how hard she can hold on without hurting Lucy. The idea of letting go, after all this time, is appalling. Lucy is back. She’s back for good and the last few months without her have _sucked_. If Kara had known that Lucy joining the DEO permanently would get her sent halfway across the world to the most isolated place ever where no one could contact her, Kara would have forced her to stay at CatCo. (No she wouldn’t because Lucy loves the DEO and is happy here and Kara would never get in the way of that. But _still._ She really missed her.)

In her defense, Lucy isn’t letting go either. Quite the opposite, she has curled her hands into Kara’s cape, pulling her closer.

“I really missed you,” she says.

It’s weird because they hadn’t been _that_ close when Lucy left. Kara had always _liked_ her but she’d also liked James which had made it hard for her and Lucy to really be friends. And then Lucy had tried to lock Alex away which had made it even harder. And then she’d saved Alex and become head of the DEO, which took up a lot of her time, and long story short, they hadn’t had the chance to really spend time together. Which would have been _fine_ except right after Myriad Lucy got shipped away to who knows where. And Kara was surprised by how much she missed her.

Just when Kara decides that maybe they won’t ever stop hugging (she wouldn’t mind), Alex shows up and Kara forces herself to let go so that Alex can have a turn hugging Lucy. Kara takes a step back and gives herself a chance to really look at Lucy. She’s not sure exactly where Lucy ended up because it had been _classified_. (The fact that anything is classified from Supergirl is ridiculous in Kara’s opinion. She’s trustworthy and she can totally keep a secret.) Alex has clearance and Kara tries not to be bitter. At least Alex was able to give her updates every so often letting her know Lucy was still alive. But it’s clear that wherever it was, it was sunny because Lucy’s skin is a couple shades darker and her hair is a little lighter. She’s got a new scar right above her eyebrow that makes Kara bristle and she looks exhausted.

“Agent Lane,” J’onn says, before Alex can start grilling Lucy about her assignment. “I think it’s time we debrief so that you can get a shower and some rest.”

“Yes, Director,” Lucy says. “Kara, Alex, I’ll see you around?”

“Of course!!” Kara says and she waves until Lucy is out of sight.

 

* * *

 

Somehow Lucy being back makes everything better. She hasn’t actually _done_ anything except exist and be around but Kara’s days start to brighten. Recently everything has been so overwhelming. The fact that she’s still unemployed and her two best friends have been _lying_ to her and putting their lives in danger. Oh, and of course, the looming threat of a Daxamite invasion. But things are better with Lucy around and Kara finds herself spending more time in the DEO than she has in a long time.

After sleeping for nearly fifteen hours straight (J’onn had almost been concerned) Lucy has jumped right back into the swing of things. She’s J’onn’s second in command technically, but in reality has just as much power as he does and J’onn knows better than to try and order her around. They have a mutual respect that had only grown while Lucy was away (they _still_ won’t tell Kara where she was, or what she was doing).

The first day Lucy is back, Kara ends up hanging out at the DEO from dawn to dusk, casually updating Lucy on everything she’s missed while she’d been gone, while Lucy did paperwork.

“Yeah, so you were still around when Mon-El landed right?”

“Is that the guys that landed in the pod? Cause I never actually saw him, just heard things. I shipped out the next morning.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s he like?”

“Ummm,” Kara says, thinking about it.

She’s not sure Lucy would like Mon-El. He’s not great at following instructions and goofs around a lot which aren’t qualities that Lucy generally admires. But she desperately wants them to get along because she likes Mon-El and she likes Lucy.

“He’s nice. He was a prince on Daxam so he’s a little… spoiled? But he’s been getting better at bring considerate and he’s been training really hard with me to be a hero.”

Lucy nods distractedly as she scribbles something down.

“And Alex?”

“She’s good,” Kara says. “She’s dating someone.”

Lucy’s head snaps up at that and a grin creeps across her lips. Kara laughs a little at her surprise.

“Who?”

“I think Alex should tell you. It’s not someone you know, though, so don’t start guessing.”

“Oh, I’m going to grill her the moment I see her. I can’t believe she hasn’t told me yet. Is that why she wasn’t at the DEO last night? I thought she lived here.”

“Not anymore. Alex actually goes home most nights now.”

Lucy leans back in her seat and nods like she’s impressed.

“Tell me more,” Lucy says, an excited glint in her eye. “I hear Lena Luthor moved to town. Has she caused any trouble?”

Kara fights the urge to get defensive and she forces herself to remember that Lucy is from Metropolis and the Luthor she knows best is Lex. And with Lois as her sister, Kara can’t imagine what sort of shit Lucy’s heard. But Lena is her friend (definitely in the running for best friend right now) and Kara had promised to stand up for her always, so she will.

“She’s not like Lex,” Kara says and she knows her tone startles Lucy because her eyes get wide. She tries to soften it. “We’re actually friends now and she’s helped us a bunch of times with Cadmus.”

“You’re… friends? With a Luthor?” Lucy says, her eyebrows scrunching up.

“She’s not like her family Lucy. If I judged people by their parents I wouldn’t like _you_ very much.”

At that, Lucy’s concerned expression drops to turn to a somewhat cheeky grin.

“You got me there,” she says. “By the way, shouldn’t you be at CatCo? Miss Grant is going to have your head.”

“I was fired.”

“You were… what?! Cat fired you?”

Lucy nearly jumps out of her chair in surprise.

“Not exactly? Cat promoted me to reporter and then Snapper Carr fired me because I published an article online about Cadmus deporting aliens which was a clear violation of my contract. And Cat left CatCo. James is in charge now.”

Lucy sits back and sighs.

“Things have really changed, huh?”

Even though Kara technically has five inches on Lucy, normally she exudes such an aura of power and strength that Kara can forget. But right now, slouched in her chair, she looks tiny.

“Not so different,” Kara says in an attempt to make her feel better. “Just life happening. I’m sure you got up to a ton of fun stuff when you were… where were you again?”

“Nice try,” Lucy says dryly. “I’m not telling you.”

“But I’m _Supergirl_ ,” Kara says, though the way she’s whining right now isn’t very heroic.

“It’s still classified.”

“Fine, whatever,” Kara says, dramatically turning away. “I didn’t want to know anyway.”

“Oh, be quiet you big baby,” Lucy says, laughing.

Kara turns back to her with a grin and laughs as well. When their laughter fades, they end up just staring at each other smiling somewhat goofily.

“I missed you,” Lucy says.

“Missed you too.”

 

* * *

 

After two hours, J’onn tells Kara to go deal with a fire downtown and let her agents work for god’s sake. Kara grumbles a little and it gets the laugh she wanted out of Lucy. Kara flashes her a grin before she leaps out of the window of the DEO. The fire is an easy fix. As is the car chase (which stops being a chase the moment Kara lands pretty dramatically in front of their car). And the kitten stuck up a tree. She flies by CatCo to pose for a short for James who has been complaining that there hadn’t been any good pictures of Supergirl recently.

She ends up flying back to the DEO around seven as the sun dips below the horizon. She finds it largely deserted save for the few younger agents who got stuck with the night shift and Lucy still at her desk slaving away at whatever assignment she’s been working on all day.

“You should really go home,” Kara says and Lucy startles so badly that Kara gets hit in the face by a pen.

“Shoot! Sorry Kara. I’m a little jumpy.”

Kara laughs.

“It’s okay. It’s not like that hurt at all.”

“Right,” Lucy says and there’s something a little off because her heart rate is still through the roof and Lucy’s eyes keep flickering to the exits.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Kara says. “Are you okay?”

“Yep! Fine!” Lucy says and she’s a little too perky, but before Kara can pry Lucy keeps talking. “And, I still have some work to do. Plus… I don’t exactly have a home yet."

“What?”

“Yeah, I mean, I couldn’t exactly get an apartment here from where I was. And J’onn offered to set me up at one of the DEO safe houses but those places are all depressing and they kind of freak me out. Plus, they’re usually pretty out of the way. So I’ve been staying here, at least until I can get my own apartment.”

Kara gapes at Lucy for three full seconds trying to understand how she’s so casual about literally being homeless.

“Where’s all your stuff?”

“I put it all in storage before I left. And it’s not like I need most of it. I’ve got my DEO tactical gear and other necessities. It’s really not a big deal.”

“ _Lucy!_ It’s a huge deal. You know what? This can’t happen,” Kara says and she reaches forward and lifts Lucy out of her seat.

(She’s definitely going to get a lecture about manhandling soon enough and she will take it, but right now she’s worried.) Lucy yelps and tries to fight it but there’s really no fighting Supergirl. Kara debates throwing Lucy over her shoulder and marching her to her locker where she is presumably keeping her meager belongings but she decides that might be going too far. So instead she puts Lucy back down and guides her there with a strong hand on her arm.

“Kara, what?”

“Get your stuff, Luce. You’re moving in with me.”

“What?”

“Just until you get your own place.”

“Kara, I-“

“Don’t fight me on this Lucy. There’s no way I’m letting my friend not have a home.”

“Kara, I don’t want to get in your way.”

“Pfft, you’re tiny!” Kara says, earning a glare from Lucy. “You couldn’t get in my way if you tried. And I really don’t mind. It’ll be nice to live with someone again. I haven’t since college and I kind of miss it to be honest.”

Lucy fidgets a little and scrunches her nose pensively. She looks at her locker and then up at Kara and then back at her locker. She takes a deep breath and then nods.

“Yeah, okay then, if you’re sure.”

“I’m positive,” Kara says, firmly.

Lucy refuses to let Kara fly them to her apartment, though it would be much faster and instead lets Kara take her stuff while she commandeers a DEO motorcycle. When Kara arrives at her apartment, she’s relieved by Lucy’s stubbornness for once because she’d forgotten how messy her apartment was. She’d fallen into somewhat of a slump after losing her job at CatCo and well… she’s going to have to do some quick work if she wants her apartment to look at all presentable. Luckily, super-speed is her friend and her apartment looks (mostly) clean by the time Lucy knocks on the door.

“Welcome!!” Kara says excitedly.

She knows it’s a little bit ridiculous but she feels like a little kid getting ready for a sleepover.

“Are you sure it’s not a problem? Are you absolutely sure? Because I really don’t mind the DEO that much. The commute is fantastic.”

Kara giggles and shakes her head.

“I don’t mind at all! It’ll be fun!”

Lucy looks at her warily. Lucy has been in the apartment before and though many things in Kara’s life have changed, this has not. Something about it earns Lucy’s approval because she smiles.

“So, um, where should I put my stuff?” Lucy asks.

Kara pauses and blinks. She… had not actually thought about that. Obviously there’s room for Lucy’s single duffle-bag in her apartment but Kara doesn’t have an extra bed, and while the couch is pretty comfortable, Lucy might prefer to stay at the DEO.

“Um, well, we can get a bed for you tomorrow or soon or whatever. Until then, you can sleep in my bed, if you want.”

“I’m not kicking you out of your bed!”

Kara opens her mouth and blinks again because she hadn’t actually been suggesting…

“I meant with me, if you want. I don’t mind sharing. But! If that makes you uncomfortable, I don’t mind taking the couch! I don’t want you to be uncomfortable at all. I just thought… we’re friends and I’ve shared that bed with Alex a bunch. It’s super comfy for two people.”

Kara notices three things all at once. One, Lucy’s heart-rate speeds up. Two, she blushes slightly. Three, her eyes flicker away from Kara’s so that she’s staring down at her feet. And shit! Kara really hadn’t meant to make her uncomfortable.

“Or! I can probably steal one of the DEO beds! J’onn probably won’t notice and he can’t read my mind so I can totally hide it from him.”

“It’s fine,” Lucy says softly, interrupting what was very quickly devolving into a rant. “I don’t mind sharing with you.”

Lucy’s words are at odds with her reaction and Kara’s not sure which to believe. After all, bodily reactions are hard to control but Lucy isn’t really one to lie if she’s uncomfortable.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Kara feels something soft flutter in her chest and she finds herself grinning and just _staring_ at Lucy like some kind of idiot. When Lucy’s eyebrow quirks in a silent question, Kara forces herself to snap out of it.

“Right, right, okay. I’ll empty out a drawer for you and you can shower. And gosh you’re probably tired still from your trip. So we can go to sleep whenever you want. Oh, and I don’t know if I have any food you like. I can go to the store right now if you give me a list. I’m really fast.”

“Relax Kara,” Lucy says, placing a hand on Kara’s arm. “I can get my own food. Don’t worry so much. This is going to be fine.”

“Fine, yes, right,” Kara says. “It’s gonna be great.”

“But I am going to take you up on that shower.”

“Okay! Sure! Are you sure I can’t get you anything from the store?”

“Positive.”

“Do you… are you _really_ tired? Or would you maybe want to watch a movie after? We could order pizza?”

“That sounds fantastic Kara. I’d love to. Order me a-“

“Pepperoni and mushrooms, no green peppers, I remember.”

“Right, okay. Um, I’m gonna go…”

“Yeah, of course.”

Kara stands in her living room just watching until the bathroom door shuts behind Lucy. Kara feels a wave of happiness so sudden and powerful that she can’t stop herself from dancing a little, though she feels silly almost immediately. Lucy is _here_. She’s in Kara’s apartment, and she’s _back_. Kara barely realized how much she missed her until just now.

Kara calls her favorite pizza place and is barely able to say the order properly because she’s _excited_. She knows that Lucy is probably too tired to deal with her if she doesn’t calm down so she jumps out the window and does a quick lap of the city, grinning the whole time as she stops a store robbery. She waves happily at the cops once they’ve got him and does corkscrews all the way home.

 

* * *

 

“What happened with you and James?” Lucy asks, pretty out of the blue halfway through _She’s The Man_ (yes Kara picked it, no, she does _not_ think it’s childish thank-you-very-much Alex).

“I… We broke up.”

“Yeah, I gathered. Why?”

Kara feels a little like she’s letting Lucy down, which is ridiculous, but she can’t help it. Part of her feels like Lucy had stepped aside for her in a way, like she might have kept fighting if Kara hadn’t been around. And part of Kara had wanted to make it work so that it wouldn’t be in vain.

“It’s hard…” Kara says, trying to explain it. “It’s hard to be Supergirl and start reporting at CatCo and deal with Cadmus and it never worked. I kept getting called out when we tried to have dates. I’d be late, or have to leave early. And he was always super understanding in the way that he is, but… I could tell he wasn’t happy about it and I was unhappy that _h_ e was unhappy and we both deserved better.”

Her reasons don’t seem like enough right now. Not in the face of the woman who had loved James enough to agree to marry him, to move cities and jobs and lives for him.

“We’re still friends,” she hastens to add. “Even if he’s being an idiot.”

Lucy laughs.

“James Olsen? An idiot? Please tell me more.”

Kara furrows her brow.

“Wait, did I not tell you about this yet?”

“Tell me what.”

“Oh man,” Kara says, reaching for the remote to pause the movie. “Uh, so have you heard about Guardian?”

“I… yeah. J’onn mentioned him earlier. He’s some vigilante right?”

“Uh, right. Um, it’s James.”

Lucy stares at Kara for a split second and her eyes get dangerously dark. She hold up her hand in a ‘wait, don’t say anything’ gesture and takes a deep breath. Her jaw is tight and her eyebrows are still slanted sharply when she speaks.

“What?”

Her voice is low and dangerous and Kara suddenly fears for James’s life.

“Do you mean to tell me that James is running around town like a chicken without a head fighting hardened criminals without back up?”

“Um, well technically Winn is helping him.”

“Well great,” Lucy says. “I’m so glad he has a computer nerd who flinches when someone raises their voice watching his back. You’re right, I can’t believe I worried… He has no training!! Neither of them do!! And they’re trying to fight people that _you_ normally fight. How do they think they can compete?”

Kara, without meaning to, bursts out laughing. It’s a little bit from relief, because when she found out about James and Winn she’d felt like she was the only one who was mad even though she was sure she had every right to be. And after James had implied that she was overreacting and she wasn’t trusting her enough, it’s validating to know that she’s not alone in her anger. Mostly, though, it’s because Lucy is wearing pink pajama pants and a too-big t-shirt with a cartoon kitten on it and looks angry enough to kill.

“It’s not funny Kara,” Lucy growls. “They’re going to get themselves killed.”

Kara sobers almost immediately at that.

“I know, Lucy. He’s being careful though. He’s not _actually_ an idiot.”

“Can’t you get him to stop?”

Kara bites her lower lip.

“I tried. I don’t want him doing it either, but the last time I tried to get him to stop, I almost lost him. I’d rather have him doing it and trusting me and calling me when something goes wrong than not.”

Lucy looks at the TV and her expression is tired.

“I… I feel like I missed so much. I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve been deployed somewhere but it’s never been for so long and I’ve never been so isolated. And… I guess, other than James, I never really had as much to miss. I feel like you and Alex and James have all moved on to something new. Don’t get me wrong, what I did over there was important and I don’t regret going but I… wish I’d been here for this stuff.”

Kara reaches over and tugs on Lucy’s shoulder until she falls into her arms. She brings one hand up to Lucy’s hair and gently caresses it until Lucy relaxes into her.

“I know. I get it. But, if it makes you feel better, we all missed you. It hasn’t quite been the same without you.”

Kara can’t see Lucy’s face from this angle but she can feel the way her cheeks shift into a smile against her arm.

“I missed you too Kara.”

 

* * *

 

For a second, Kara isn’t sure what wakes her. It’s still dark out and the streets are silent, or as silent as they can be for someone with super hearing. She’s just about to roll over and go back to sleep when she hears a whimper. She turns to see that Lucy’s hands are fisted into the duvet and her brow is furrowed. When Kara focuses her hearing, she notices that Lucy’s is going almost double-time.

“Lucy,” Kara says, probably too softly to wake her. “Lucy! Luce!”

Kara reaches over and places a hand on Lucy’s arm and is immediately rewarded with an elbow to the face. It doesn’t hurt her at all, but it surprises her enough that she yelps and scrambles back. When she looks back at Lucy, her chest is heaving and her eyes are wild.

“Lucy?”

Kara reaches across the distance between them but immediately withdraws her hand when Lucy flinches.

“Luce,” she says softly. “Are you okay?”

“I… um, nightmare. I had a nightmare,” her voice is breathy and uneven. “I’m okay. It’s okay.”

Kara stays on her side of the bed, entirely unsure of how to help.

“Are you… are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?”

Lucy ducks her chin and Kara has to tilt her head to see her expression. In the slight moonlight, she catches the glint of a few tears.

“Lucy,” she says softly.

“I can’t tell you what I was doing there,” Lucy says. “I know you think that’s silly but I won’t disobey orders. Things were… hard there. And I get nightmares sometimes.”

“I… Is there anything I can do to help?”

Lucy turns and opens her arms as if asking for a hug.

“Hold me?”

Kara barely hesitates before lying back down and pulling Lucy into her chest.

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

“Ummm, Kara?” Alex says. “Whose clothes are these?”

Kara looks up from her potstickers and glances at her bedroom. Alex had come straight from work and had begged Kara to lend her sweatpants to change into for sister night. Kara had waved her away with a ‘sure, go for it’, much too focused on the promise of Chinese food to worry about Alex. She knew were all her stuff was anyway. Except, Kara’s stuff has been moved around a bit. The drawer that had previously been designated ‘The Sweatpants Drawer’ had been consolidated with ‘The Sweatshirt Drawer’ to make room for Lucy’s stuff.

“Oh, that’s Lucy’s.”

Kara hears the banging of a few more drawers and then then sound of fabric against skin. Then Alex is marching out of Kara’s bedroom with a look of pure confusion on her face.

“Okay, what’s going on? Because Maggie and I have been dating for nearly three months and even we don’t have this much clothes at each other’s places.”

“Yeah, um, funny story actually. This is technically Lucy’s place too? Also she’s going to be joining us for sister night?”

Alex sits at Kara’s counter, laces her fingers together and leans her chin against them. For a very long time she just stares at Kara.

“Explain. From the beginning.”

“Lucy doesn’t have an apartment yet and I found out she spent the first night at the DEO and that sounded terrible so I told her she could live here until she found a place.”

“Okay, so let me get this straight. Lucy Lane has been staying here for… almost a week and a half, and this is the first I’ve heard about it?”

“I… yeah, I guess. It never came up?”

“So does that mean we can finally talk about your crush.”

“My… my what?”

“Your crush. On Lucy.”

“What? Alex, no. I don’t have a… not on Lucy. She’s my friend.”

“Back when you were super into James and Lucy showed up, you said that she was, and I quote, ‘pretty’ ‘nice’ ‘smart’ ‘tough’-“

“Okay! Okay! I get it!”

“You also said she smelled nice which is a weird thing to say about someone you just met.”

“Well, she did smell nice, Alex! I was saying that objectively.”

Alex rolls her eyes.

“Look, Kara. I’m not saying you have to do anything, but you’re sometimes kind of oblivious to your own feelings and I think you should maybe not be oblivious about these.”

“I’m not… I don’t…”

Kara is saved from having to come up with a full sentence that doesn’t sound like a lie, but the sound of Lucy’s key in the door.

“She has a key?” Alex asks Kara quietly.

“Of course. How else is she supposed to get in?”

Lucy walks in to find Alex and Kara leaning awkwardly against Kara’s kitchen island like cartoon characters. She hangs up her coat and puts down her bag, eyeing them warily the whole time.

“Hey guys,” she says. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” they both say, Kara far too quickly, and Alex with a smirk on her lips.

“Oh! If Lucy’s going to be here, can I invite Maggie?”

Lucy frowns.

“Who’s Maggie?”

“You didn’t tell her?” Alex asks Kara, surprise clear in her voice.

“I thought you’d want to.”

Alex turns back to Lucy and nods in her head in the way that she does when she’s trying to psych herself up.

“Right, right. Um, yeah. Maggie is… well she’s a cop. The NCPD has a new task force that deals exclusively with extra normal crimes. Um and she’s on that task force and we met back when this Infernian tried to kill the President.” Lucy raises her eyes in surprise. “It’s fine. We handled it. But anyway, Maggie and I… we sort of… I mean… she’s my girlfriend.”

Lucy seems surprised for only a half a second before she squeals and pulls Alex into a hug.

“Oh, thank god! I thought you were going to be single _forever_.”

“Hey!” Alex retorts, but she’s laughing a little and hugging Lucy back.

“Please Kara, let her invite Maggie. I _have_ to meet her.”

Kara was never going to say no, but with Lucy’s eyes on her she finds that she couldn’t even if she wanted to.

“Sure, of course. It’ll be fun.”

 

* * *

  

Maggie and Lucy took one look at each other and decided that they were going to be best friends. Now, they’re both wine drunk and giggling like teenagers, which is a foreign look on both of them. They have a lot in common though. They’re both small, but tough. They’re also smart and they end up discussing some of the best ways for subduing unruly aliens and comparing notes (and battle scars). Maggie is thrilled to learn that Lucy is practically a second Director at the DEO. (While J’onn has always been happy to see Maggie in her capacity as Alex’s girlfriend, he refused to discuss business saying that he shouldn’t be opening a line of communication between the police and an organization that did not exist even unofficially). Lucy does not seem to have similar qualms.

Alex watches them with a soft smile and even softer eyes.

“They seem to like each other,” Kara says, leaning her head against Alex’s shoulder.

“Yeah. I’m glad,” Alex says and, and then after a short pause. “I’m happy Kara.”

Kara hums lightly under her breath.

“Me too.”

“You haven’t been lately. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

Alex pauses as if to let Kara disagree but there’s really no point. Alex is right and she knows it.

“I know you’ve got a _lot_ going on and all. And I know that things have been hard with James and Winn and losing your job. You know you can still talk to me about that stuff right? Like… just because Maggie and I are dating…you’re still my sister.”

Kara nods silently because if she speaks right now she’s going to probably start crying happy tears. She closes her eyes for a second and focuses on Alex’s heartbeat, steady and constant in her chest, and she wonders yet again how she’s the one with super-strength when Alex is always the one who holding her up.

“Is it because of her?” Alex asks quietly and Kara opens her eyes to see Lucy laughing at something Maggie has said.

Her head is thrown back, short brown waves bouncing light and catching the light. When she rights herself Kara catches sight of her eyes, so green and so beautiful and she knows there’s only one answer she can give Alex.

“Yeah.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know Alex. With everything going on… I don’t want it to be like James all over again. I mean, what are the odds that I could _ever_ get to live normally, that I could have what other people have.”

“Clark can,” Alex replies. “He’s Superman, and he’s award-winning Daily Planet Journalist Clark Kent, and he is also married to Lois. Maybe what it takes is a Lane.”

Kara lets out a hiccuping laugh that has both Maggie and Lucy looking at her curiously. She waves them off with a smile and they both turn back to their conversation, but less than a second later Lucy is glancing at her again, as if to double check that Kara is indeed okay.

“For what it’s worth,” Alex says. “I think if you asked her out she would say yes.”

Kara doesn’t respond because it’s a lot to unpack right now and she’s too happy and too sleepy to deal with it. Instead, she stores it away in the back of her mind for a later date and nestles herself deeper into Alex’s side.

 

* * *

 

Waking up to a frightened gasp or a broken whimper from Lucy is practically habit now. She hasn’t once slept through the night since arriving and Kara is starting to get worried. During the day she seems fine, for the most part, but Kara notices small details, like the way she avoids the DEO shooting range like the plague, how violently she reacts when Kara accidentally sneaks up on her. Last week, she’d been sparring against Alex and Alex accidentally had gotten in a solid knock to her head and Lucy had retaliated so quickly that it couldn’t have been anything other than instinct. Alex is still complaining about the bruise on her ribs.

Kara’s not sure what she should do because, on the one hand, she wants to help but she knows that Lucy would consider her telling anyone the ultimate betrayal. On the other hand, she can’t help herself when she doesn’t even know what happened in the first place. So instead, she does the only thing she can and, when Lucy wakes from the night mares, she pulls her close and holds her until she’s asleep again.

“I’m sorry Kara,” Lucy says once night after curling up against her. “I don’t mean to keep waking you.”

“Shhh, it’s okay Lucy. I’d rather you woke me up, than you woke up alone. I’ve had my fair share of nightmares and… I wouldn’t wish them on anyone.”

“About Krypton?” Lucy asks, and then a second later is backpedaling. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kara says. “Um, at first, when I arrived, it was always about Krypton. Every single night, for maybe three or four months? But they went on pretty regularly for years. I think at that point my body was too tired to dream every night. By the time I made it to college, they were pretty much gone. Then, after I became Supergirl and saw my Aunt Astra again, they came back. Not as often, but there still. I have other dreams too. After I flew Fort Rozz into space I’d have dreams of not being able to breathe. I… I almost died and while I was at peace with it, it was still kind of scary. The worst ones are ones of people I love dying. I’ve gotten too close to seeing it too many times, y’know? I’ve seen James and Winn jump off a building and Alex in a burning plane and being shot at. I’ve seen J’onn fight monsters and barely make it. I dream that they all die. That I lose them forever.”

Lucy tightens her grip on Kara. For a long while she’s silent, long enough for Kara to wonder if she’s fallen back asleep but then she shifts and tentatively starts to speak.

“We were in the Amazon. About a month before I arrived someone had seen _something_ between the trees that didn’t belong there. And then there were more sightings, one right after the other and when looking at meteorological data we found that around the time the sightings started something had fallen to earth in the area. We thought it was just your run-of-the-mill meteor but apparently not. So I went down with a team of three other agents. The original mission was just to find out what they were and if they were hostile.”

“But by the time we got down there, the local militia had already started to fight back. Apparently the aliens had been stealing their food, not knowing any better, and the locals were scared and hungry. We tried to get them to back down but they aren’t exactly fond of Americans, much less Americans with fancy badges so they essentially told us to fuck off. One night, in order to fulfill the mission, we snuck past their sentries to get to the camp. Do you know about Largas?”

“Yeah, J’onn talked about them once. They were a very peaceful race but they died out, right?”

“Apparently not. Because they were there. They didn’t speak any English and we had no records of their language, presumably because they were supposed to be dead. But they welcomed us, kindly. You’re right. They were very peaceful, to the point where they wouldn’t even properly defend themselves against the militia past putting up a couple walls around their camp. We ended up living with them for a bit and learning their language. We offered to fight back for them, at least enough so that we could extract them to a safer place. They refused. For the first month I was there, we just tried to convince them that we could help if they would just work with us. We were outnumbered by the militia but we had better weapons and better strategy and we could have won.

“There was a child. Very young. I think they said three earth years, and they live to be a hundred and fifty on average so for them he was _young_. Anyway, we… bonded I guess. He couldn’t speak at all, much less in English, but I think he liked my hair. One day he snuck out of camp when no one was watching and-“ Lucy’s voice cracks. She doesn’t have to finish the sentence though. Kara can imagine how it goes.

“That finally convinced them to fight back. And we did. God Kara, it was so terrible. Agent Jenkins died and about a third of the Largas as well before we finally managed to break through their defenses enough to get away. I… we expected the militia to leave us alone after we left but… they didn’t. For the next couple months all I did was travel with them, hiking through the woods hoping to find somewhere suitable to live where they wouldn’t get attacked. The militia, they followed and they brought friends. Every new place we stopped at, the militia came and would convince the locals to join them. Eventually we were able to get away by going so far into the trees that they wouldn’t follow. And Kara, let me tell you, there are some really awful, terrifying things in the Amazon.”

Lucy says it like a joke but Kara can hear the truth behind the statement, hear how _scared_ she is that she’ll end up there again.

“I’d never been deployed in combat,” Lucy says. “Not really. I’d seen some from afar but I never… I never had to live through it. I don’t ever… I don’t think I _can ever_ do anything like that again.”

“You won’t have to Luce. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you never have to again.”

It’s a bit of a weak promise because the Daxamite ship is still hovering up there and if they keep good on their promise to destroy earth, National City is sure to become a battle field. And Kara wishes she could say that Lucy would be safe at her desk at the DEO but even the DEO control room has seen quite a bit of action. Still, she will do everything in her power (which is a lot) to make sure Lucy’s nightmares fade and are forgotten.

“Luce,” Kara says softly.

“Hmm?”

“You said you didn’t regret it.”

Lucy takes a second to answer and when she does her voice is sure.

“Was it worth it for you when you flew Fort Rozz into space?”

It’s not even a real question as far as Kara is concerned. She would do it again in a second. To save National City, to save Earth? There’s nothing she wouldn’t do.

“Of course.”

“There’s your answer. I don’t want to think about what the militia would have done had we not intervened. The Largas needed our help and we helped them. So, no, I do not regret a second of it. It was _worth_ it.”

Kara feels tears unexpectedly welling up in her eyes and she presses a kiss into the crown of Lucy’s head.

“Lucy Lane,” she says. “You are my hero.”

“Right back at you, Supergirl.”

 

* * *

 

The nightmares subside a little after they talk. Kara thinks maybe it helps that they stop pretending they’re going to actually spend the night on opposite sides of the bed and when they go to sleep, Kara curls her body around Lucy’s. It’s been nearly a month since Lucy got back now and Kara wants to ask if she’s had any luck finding an apartment. Not because she wants Lucy to move out, because she’s pretty sure that would be the worst thing in the world (One night Lucy works late at the DEO and Kara can’t fall asleep without her). She just wants to know what to expect, how long to expect her for. She wants to know so that she can start to prepare mentally for Lucy to move out.

But she’s afraid that if she brings it up Lucy will think she _wants_ her to move out, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. She can’t figure out a phrasing that wouldn’t make it sound like Kara is just itching to get rid of her. So she doesn’t ask and Lucy doesn’t say anything.

Alex, on the other hand, has not been shy about asking Kara when the hell she’s going to woman up and ask Lucy out.

“Kara, please, I beg you just do it. I want you to be happy and-“

“I _am_ happy.”

“Okay, so I want you to be even happier, sue me. Ask her out. She won’t say no, I promise.”

“What? Why? Did she say something to you?”

“No, you useless alien. I just have eyes that can see things. And she’s not subtle.”

“But Alex-“

“Don’t! I don’t want to hear any ‘buts’ from you. Ask her or I’ll throw you off a building.”

“I can fly, you know…”

“I’ll make sure you solar flare first.”

Still, despite Alex’s nagging, Kara has made no progress. After all, Lucy is… well, she’s Lucy. She’s gorgeous and smart and strong and amazing and just a little bit broken, which is okay, but Kara’s not sure if she can be enough for her. So, she does the best to put it out of her mind, which admittedly is very hard when she sees Lucy every day.

“Kara, you know I love you to death, but I really need to get this paperwork done and you are being very distracting.”

“What? I’m not doing anything,” Kara says from where she’s perched on the desk next to Lucy’s eating Doritos and humming to a song that she can’t remember the name of. It’s definitely from the 80s though. Maybe.

“You’re humming, first of all. Which you’re doing while eating chips and if you weren’t a super-powered alien I’d be worried about you choking. And second of all, you keep fidgeting.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry!! It’s just that I’m bored!”

“Have you considered getting a job?”

“I had one, and then I lost it.”

Lucy rolls her eyes.

“Seriously? Get another one. Or at least try applying for others. J’onn’s going to stop paying out of the DEO budget at some point and you’re going to run out of money fast.”

Kara pouts and Lucy smirks her victory.

“Fine,” Kara says and she gets off the desk to find a computer and start researching, or maybe Winn can write a program that will find and apply for any job that’s relevant to her interests.

She makes it three steps before the gunshots start. She whips around to find an alien that she’d fought earlier that day running loose in the DEO. He almost makes it to the window before Kara’s got her hand on the collar of his jacket and has whipped him down into the ground. He’s strong and big but not really a match for Kara especially with the concussion he definitely has from earlier. This time, she drags him down to containment herself and she doesn’t leave until the door to his cell is locked and sealed.

And then her ears catch a familiar sound that makes her heart clench and her stomach fly into her throat. She’s back up in the control room before anyone can blink to find Lucy curled under her desk with her hands over her ears. The control room is still a mess of barked orders and sharp voices as they try to organize clean-up and try to figure out who is responsible for his escape.

“Everyone shut up and clear out!” she says forcefully enough that every one freezes before hustling to do as she says.

(She doesn’t give orders often, or ever really, because that’s more Alex and J’onn’s job but when she does she’s always pleasantly surprised when people listen. She’d gotten used to being largely ignored as Kara Danvers so the turnaround is nice.)

The room quiets down and Kara kneels in front of Lucy’s desk.

“Luce? Hey Lucy, it’s Kara. Can you hear me?”

Lucy’s eyes are squeezed shut and her hands are still pressed tightly to her ears but she still nods.

“Hey, Luce, listen. You’re safe okay? One of the aliens broke out of containment but I put him back there easily. He’s there for good. We double and triple checked all of the controls. Those agents shouldn’t have shot at him. It was pointless really because he was bulletproof, but no one got hurt and all of their weapons are holstered again. Okay? You’re safe and nothing’s going to hurt you. But its okay if you don’t want to come out yet. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Kara reaches out to focus on Lucy’s heart rate. It’s tripping over herself at that familiar pace that it had when Lucy woke up to nightmares. But Kara’s attuned enough to it now to hear as it starts to slow down and to know when it becomes okay to reach out to Lucy and touch her. She gently and slowly pries Lucy out from under the desk and slips her arms around her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Lucy sniffles once she’s calmed down.

“Don’t be.”

“Kara,” Lucy says and for some reason Kara’s name falls strangely off her tongue as if she’s never said it before.

“Yeah?’’

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

 

* * *

 

After that the nightmares come back full force for three nights before the insomnia sets in. Instead of waking up at 3am to the sound of a gasp or a whimper, Kara wakes up only an hour after falling asleep to Lucy tossing and turning. She does everything she can think of — holding her, rubbing her back, running her fingers through Lucy’s hair, singing a lullaby — but nothing ever seems to work and Lucy gets more and more tired with each passing night.

She starts to sneak away, slipping out of bed after Kara has fallen asleep to pace around the living room or to watch a show quietly on TV. She seems to forget though that no matter how quiet she is, Kara has super-hearing (what she doesn’t know is that Kara has also attuned herself to Lucy’s heartbeat and any spike or change usually wakes her). Kara tries to coax her back to bed and is usually successful but she thinks that Lucy might be even more unhappy confined to lying down because either way she doesn’t fall asleep.

One night, Kara unsure of what else to do, offers to take Lucy flying.

“Are you kidding me? How would hovering thousands of feet above the city help me calm down?”

Kara shrugs.

“I always works for me,” she says. “Whenever I can’t sleep I do a loop of the city. It’s peaceful and the air feels nice. I mean, I guess it’s different because I can’t fall.”

Lucy seems to consider it, and then she turns to look at Kara with wide eyes and quietly says, “You won’t let me fall, right?”

Kara is startled that she even has to ask.

“Never.”

Which is how Lucy ends up cradled in Kara’s arms hovering high above National City. Kara talks to her quietly, pointing out her favorite places. She tells her about the mom and pop pizza place that she likes to go to when she’s nearby. They don’t deliver but their pizza is the best in town. She tells her about the park where she’s become friends with a little girl who goes there every day after school. She discusses the pros and cons of the roof of L-Corp vs CatCo vs the DEO. In less than twenty minutes, Lucy has fallen asleep and Kara carries her back home, careful not to jostle or wake her. She doesn’t bother taking off her suit and instead uses her cape in lieu of a blanket.

When she wakes up the next morning, she finds Lucy staring at her with an entirely indecipherable expression.

“I fell asleep,” she says softly. “I mean… I slept the whole night.”

“Yeah,” Kara says. “How do you feel?”

“You helped me. You helped me fall asleep. I remember you talked to me until I was asleep.”

Kara blushes under her scrutiny and praise and then shrugs noncommittally.

“I wasn’t… It’s not a big deal.”

“Kara,” Lucy says firmly. “Thank you.”

Kara does something halfway between a shrug and a nod that has Lucy laughing and its the most beautiful sound in the world and she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, wrapped up in Kara’s cape with sunlight dancing across her face.

“Lucy… I-“

“Kara-"

They cut each other off and Kara buries her face into the pillow as she giggles. Everything about this moment feels warm and soft and unbreakable.

“You go first,” she says.

Lucy bites her lower lip and the motion is wildly distracting. Kara knows that she’s staring at Lucy’s lips now and she’s not sure if Lucy has noticed but she finds she doesn’t care.

“You’re my best friend. You know that right?”

Kara is distracted enough that it takes her a second to actually process Lucy’s words. When she does, she feels her heart constrict because ‘friends’ wasn’t really what she was going for. Not that she’d be opposed to friends, its just… she wants _more._

“I… yeah, of course,” Kara says.

“And I love you."

“I love you too, Lucy. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just…”

Lucy trails off and Kara’s breath catches in her throat because Lucy is looking at her lips as if she’s trying to find the answer to the universe in them. Kara wants to ask what she’s doing (there’s an answer she hopes for but she knows better than to believe it could actually happen) but she doesn’t want to break whatever is hanging between them.

“Kara,” Lucy says softly, her lips barely moving.

Lucy gives her time. Lucy gives her _eons_ to move away. Kara could if she wanted to, even without her super speed. But god why would she ever want to? Still, when Lucy’s lips finally touch hers it’s almost a surprise. But it’s the best kind of surprise and Kara doesn’t hesitate to tilt her chin so that she can properly kiss back. Lucy’s heart is thundering in her chest, but Kara doesn’t think that’s a bad thing this time.

The kiss is short and chaste, but when Lucy pulls away her pupils are blown and her breath is short. And in a move that charms Kara beyond anything that’s ever happened to her before, Lucy brings her fingers up to her own lips as if to check that it was real. When she realizes what she’s doing, she whips her hand back down to her side and buries her face into the pillow to hide her blush. Kara laughs lightly and brings her hand up so that she can tap at Lucy’s chin until she looks back up.

This time Kara kisses her until Lucy is blushing for entirely different reasons. She threads her hands into the shortest hairs at the nape of Lucy’s neck and is rewarded by a soft sigh. Somewhere, in the back of Kara’s mind, (the only part of her mind that isn’t just saying _Lucy Lucy Lucy_ ) Kara wonders if this is all a dream. It kind of feels like it, with the sunlight and her cape draped over them. Oh, and the fact that Lucy is kissing her which seems so unlikely.

It feels real though. Lucy’s hand gripping at Kara’s waist is real and her lips feel real. And this is all so much better than anything Kara has dreamed in the past. This time, when Lucy pulls away she isn’t the only one short of breath. She watches Kara with such open awe that Kara has to fight the urge to look away and blush.

“You kissed me,” Lucy says.

“You kissed me first.”

Lucy smacks Kara’s arm and pretends to be annoyed but it doesn’t work as she struggles not to smile. Kara understands the feeling and she’s pretty sure her cheeks are going to hurt by the end of the day.

“You like me?”

Lucy sounds so uncertain as if the idea of Kara even tolerating her is entirely unfathomable.

“I’ve liked you since… Gosh, probably since before you left if I think about it, though I wasn’t really aware?”

“That long?”

Kara shrugs awkwardly, a little embarrassed. She knows it must seem a little pathetic to like someone for a long time, to _know_ you like them and not do anything about it.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t know… I guess I thought you wouldn’t want to date me. I mean, you’re Lucy Lane and I’m just-“

“Amazing. Wonderful. Kind. Beautiful,” Lucy says before Kara can finish the thought. “You are incredible Kara Danvers and …. I think I need to move out.”

Kara takes far too long to process the quick change in direction and when she does she shoots up so that she’s sitting.

“What? Why?”

She knows that she sounds panicked and is pretty sure she must look it too. But she has no idea why Lucy would want to move out now. Everything was going so well and Kara’s not sure how their morning arrived here. Lucy sits up slowly so that she can look Kara in the eye.

“Because I think it’s a bad idea to start a relationship living together. It would be too fast and too much all at once.”

“We’ve been living together for weeks,” Kara replies. “And it’s been good and…”

“There’s another reason, Kara. I think that I… I need to be able to live on my own again. Or I need to know that I can live on my own. You know? I need to know I’ll be okay even if you’re not with me every single night. Plus, it’s not fair to you to wake up every night and take me flying. And-“ Lucy holds up her hand to stop the retort she knows is coming, “I know you don’t mind. But I do.”

“But that’s what friends are for. To help each other and take care of each other.”

“Yeah, but I shouldn’t be _dependent_ on you. Which I am right now. Please Kara, I need you to understand that it’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that I don’t trust myself right now and I want to get to a place where I can. I’ve been talking to the DEO’s counselor about my PTSD and she agrees.”

Kara tires not to let her face fall. She tries to school her features into something supportive. And she _is_ supportive. She knows that Lucy is right. It’s just… she’s going to miss her.

“Can you still sleep here some nights?” Kara asks. “Because I’ve gotten really used to you falling asleep in my arms. And I’ll miss you a lot.”

Lucy’s grin lights her face up like the sun and Kara feels like it scorches through her when Lucy presses their lips together.

“I would love nothing more.”


End file.
